Humiliation

Humiliation is what women who speak out in my state, Tamil Nadu, face.


The Khusboo issue

The famous actress Khusboo had said that 'Men cannot expect their brides to be virgins' and advocated safe sex for women.. a pretty strong statement that she made, no doubt.. But looking at the context where she said it, (at a HIV AIDS conference) it sounded pretty ok.

The reaction that the statement generated was unbelievable and immense throughout the state.. Right from every tamil newspaper to political bigwigs this became an issue.. They claimed that tamil women were 'insulted' .. That Khushboo was wrong.. Women(political members and others as well) came out into streets and protested with their brooms. even outside the actresses' house..

Every jobless Tom, Dick and Harry started filing cases right from the subordinate courts to the High Court, against the actress with the same 'culture' bullshit excuse.. Images of the actress running around from court to court in every district made me feel ashamed of my state. Those who supported her(another actress Suhasini) were targeted as well.

The biggest irony was that, the CM being a woman(Jayalalithaa) refused to utter a word in support of Khushboo fearing erosion of her vote bank. It finally took a stay from the High Court on all cases against her in the state to bring the issue to rest.

But the damage had been done.. Khushboo even cried publicly and apologised if she had said anything wrong.. This incident serves as a grim remainder of a norm that women in TN should shut up and keep quiet.. And those who defy the norm will be rapped on their heads.. What a sad state given the state's rapid progress.. Girls should be taught to become independent individuals..




Moral Policing

Surprisingly the press here is involved in 'moral policing' apart from the police. There was this photo on a popular tamil daily where a women at a bar in Chennai was shown with a glass having some drink. The paper went on to say how the 'culture' in Tamil Nadu had 'deteriorated' to such an extent when women drink. Why cant women drink when their male counterparts here drink all day and go on the rampage at nights, beating up their wives and children?

Who authorized them to protect the so-called 'culture'? Where did this 'culture' vanish when almost every heroine dances in disgusting item numbers in tamil movies, showing off whatever they have?

If such moral policing continues, Chennai cannot become a software and manufacturing hub that the govt wants it to be. It has to become cosmopolitan and the govt should make sure all the policing bullshit stops.


Films

Even films are not spared.. The hero right from MGR to today's Vijay advise heroines what to wear.. As a particular example, Vijay tells Asin in a film to dress up decently when she comes in a 'provocative and indecent' dress..

And guess what happens!! Asin immediately obeys and the next day comes decked up in a saree, just to impress the hero!! No wonder such films run to packed houses! It shows us that the heroine is really dumb having absolutely no brains at all. Why cant she choose what to wear!! But unfortunately this is what is being fed into our people who lap it up gladly without a single protest.


'Good' girls

There's this view that girls here 'should be good'.. they should do all household chores, be obedient, should not talk against men, and foremost of all, worship their husbands. Every girl is brought up with such norms screwed into her head and only if she abides them is she considered to be 'good' by her suitors. And the duty of the girl child's family is to ensure that the girl pleases the family of the groom-to-be.

This has not changed much in all rural and some urban pockets..In other states, the situation might be better but the improvement shown in this state is painstakingly slow.